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INFORMATION BULLETIN No 86 MARCH 2008
Towards a Christian Understanding of Loneliness
While
with some colleagues recently in My
occasional reference to loneliness
during retreats or conferences is at times challenged:
‘aloneness’ I am told, not loneliness! Sure, a wonderfully deep and
enriching spirituality with “Christ as the definitive answer” is such a
blessing. We all strive for that daily. On
the other hand, Rohleiser insists, “No person has ever walked our earth and
been free from the pains of loneliness. Rich and poor, wise and ignorant,
faith-filled and agnostic, healthy and unhealthy have all alike had to face and
struggle with its potentially paralysing grip. It has granted no one immunities.
To be human is to be lonely.” Today, he says, people in the West experience it
with much greater intensity than ever before. For
our own pastoral awareness and effectiveness, I thought it may be useful to
print those eye-catching headings—pointers only to a fuller description given
in his 2004 book. The topic
touches everyone; it is both a “danger and opportunity.” Remember
Augustine’s insight: “our
hearts are restless until … (Confessions, 1:1). Best
wishes for the Paschal Season.
Frank
Devoy Director
LONELINESS:
DANGER AND 1. Loneliness, if not understood, can be destructive
of human intimacy and love: ·
Loneliness
can lead to over-possessiveness in relationships ·
Our
loneliness often leads us to over-exert ourselves in relationships ·
Loneliness
can also be destructive of human intimacy and love as it leads us to over-expect
in relationships 2. Loneliness can cause us to be unable to channel our
creative and effective energies in a meaningful and disciplined way: ·
Because
of our loneliness, we often find it hard to make ourselves present to the moment ·
Because
of our loneliness, we find it difficult to make choices ·
Our
loneliness often prevents us from entering into any type of creative solitude 3. Loneliness can and often does drive us into many
premature and irresponsible decisions. 4. Loneliness can, if it is not faced and grappled
with in a meaningful way, lead us to become a hardened and desensitized person. 5. Loneliness, if not understood, can be the cause of
much inexplicable unhappiness and tension. 6. Ultimately, loneliness can be totally destructive
of our human personality: ·
We
become “Wearied and Tired.” ·
We
become “Tormented and Afflicted.” ·
We
will become “Darkened and Blind.” ·
We
become “Defiled and Stained. · We become “Weakened and Lukewarm.” BRINGING
THE PROBLEM INTO FOCUS Specific Types of Loneliness
Restlessness
Fantasy
Rootlessness
Psychological Depression Bringing the Problem into Theological Focus
TOWARDS A CHRISTIAN UNDERSTANDING OF LONELINESS THE
HEBREW SCRIPTURES ON LONELINESS Reasons for Loneliness 1. The Loneliness That Is Caused by Sin 2. The Loneliness That Is Caused by the Transitory
Character of All Things 3. The Loneliness That Comes from the Very Nature of
the Human Person ·
Our
nature is such that our desires and appetites continually outstrip our
accomplishments ·
Our
nature is such that we have a certain “timelessness” within us ·
Our
nature is such that we have within us an unquenchable thirst for God Toward a Resolution to Loneliness
1. Stoicism
2. Conversion
3. A Community of Life with God and Others THE
NEW TESTAMENT ON LONELINESS Reasons for Loneliness 1. The Loneliness of Sin 2. The Loneliness of Being a Pilgrim on Earth ·
Jesus’
Understanding of the Human Person ·
Jesus’
Understanding of the Time Framework of Salvation History Toward Resolution: Definitive Directions
1. Away from Sin
2. Toward the Gospel Summary: “As Through A Glass, Darkly” Some
Christian theologians on loneliness ·
Loneliness
is not just a thirst for God, but a thirst for other persons in the world, as
well ·
Loneliness
is what makes us dynamic beings ·
Loneliness,
if listened to tells us of God’s purpose for us ·
There
is an immense danger in loneliness ·
In
order to arrive at our real depth, we must enter into our loneliness ·
When
we first do enter into our loneliness, we enter into the pain of
“purgatory.” ·
Loneliness
is co-extensive with our personality · Loneliness is what motivates us and makes us dynamic beings
The
Hidden Benefits of Loneliness ·
Loneliness
can help us to become more under-standing and empathetic ·
Loneliness
can be a force that helps to sensitise us to the needs and the yearnings of our
heart ·
Loneliness,
if listened to, puts pressure on us to pay the price of love, namely,
self-sacrifice ·
Loneliness
is God’s way of drawing us towards the end for which He made us, namely, union
with God and with our fellow human beings ·
Loneliness
can help lead us to make a commitment of faith ·
Loneliness
can teach us that we are pilgrims on earth · Loneliness is an invitation to share in the loneliness of Jesus. Toward
a spirituality of loneliness No instant solutions a) Handling “Alienation”: In Search of Integration
1) Risk; 2) Vulnerability; 3) Free Space
4) Playfulness; 5) Self-sacrifice. b) Handling “Restlessness”: In Search of Solitude ·
Giving
Up False Messianic Expectations ·
An
Inward Journey ·
A
Lifelong Struggle ·
Affective
Prayer. c) Handling “Fantasy”: In Search of Truth. d) Handling “Rootlessness”: In Search of the Still Point. ·
Movement
toward That Which Is Beyond Time ·
Commitment ·
Renewing
Our Sense of History ·
Finding
a Still Point Inside a Community of Faith e) Handling “Psychological Depression”: In Search
of an Ad Hoc Solution Toward a final solution: in search of the community of life that
no man is an island, entire
of itself. Our
lives are involved with one another, through
innumerable interactions they are linked together. No
one lives alone. No
one sins alone. No
one is saved alone. The
lives of others continually spill over into mine: in
what I think, say, do and achieve. And
conversely, my
life spills over into that of others: for
better and for worse. So
my prayer for another is not something extraneous to that person, something
external, not even after death. In
the interconnectedness of Being, my
gratitude to the other—my prayer for him— can
play a small part in his purification …. It
is never too late to touch the heart of another, nor
is it ever in vain. In
this way we further clarify an important element of
the Christian concept of hope. Our
hope is always essentially also hope for others; only thus is it truly hope for
me too.” --
Spe Salvi (2007),
no. 48
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